Game of Thrones, Season 6, Episode 3

A note before we begin, on spoilers: Don't read the blog (or any other kind of episode recap on the interweb) if you don't want exposure to fan theories that might turn out to be true later on in the season. You have been warned....

....We open on Davos’ shocked face because he’s staring at a newly breathing Jon Snow – my face was more like  because I’m staring at a mostly naked Kit Harrington. ***DROOL*** The Onion Knight quickly comes to Jon’s aid as panic sets in and all of his recent memories come flooding back; throwing his cloak over him and conducting real talk about the miracle that just happened, much to even Melisandre’s surprise. It seems Jon is still Jon, who is understandably mindfucked about the fact that his men just murdered him hours before, yet he’s currently breathing despite multiple open stab wounds to the torso. There appears to be no loss to his faculties nor, as we see later in the episode, to his character. And despite Ygritte’s meme-worthy assertion, Jon seems to know some existential shit now: Melisandre kneels before him and asks about what he saw in the afterlife, presumably eager to hear what the Lord of Light may have said/shown to Jon, and he reveals that “there was nothing at all.” BOOM – it would seem there is no afterlife – which now begs the question – does R’hllor the god actually exist, because, if not – how the hell was Melisandre able to pull a Beric Dondarrion? How was Beric Dondarrion able to Beric Dondarrion!? Who is pulling the magic strings here if not the presumed deities of Westeros? Hmmm.

With resurrected Jon having been immediately addressed, we move to the most important part of this episode: the Tower of Joy flashback!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well known to GoT book readers, this scene is frequently recalled by Ned Stark, when he and Howland Reed attempted to rescue Lyanna Stark from the clutches of her royal captors following Robert’s Rebellion and slayed Arthur Dayne, the best swordsman of the Kingsguard. As Bran and 3ER observe what actually happened, Bran is disturbed by what he sees, thus contributing somewhat to this episode’s title: “Oathbreaker.” Before I continue, can I just put it out there that it is criminally ironic for an episode called “Oathbreaker” to only nominally feature Jaime Lannister? Anyway, what Bran sees is not the tall tale that was famous to everyone in the North – Ned doesn’t slay Dayne in single combat, Dayne gets stabbed in the back by Howland Reed and Ned gratefully finishes him off, because until then it seemed Dayne would have been the victor. This is a chink in Ned Stark’s previously thick persona of integrity, and Bran wants to follow his father up the stairs to see what else differs from his telling of the story (that he discovered Lyanna Stark, dying in a bed soaked in blood, and so brought her body home to Winterfell). IT EVEN APPEARS BRAN REACHED OUT TO NED MID-GREENSEEING – he calls out to his dad and young Ned pauses and turns around to investigate, but 3ER is having none of it, and pulls Bran from the memory. This scene is hugely important because it implies, despite 3ER’s insistence that the ink on history’s page is dry and Bran can’t affect the past, that he can in fact reach out to people while greenseeing – but those listening hear whispers on the wind, nothing more. What Ned actually found upstairs will either confirm the most widespread fan theory in all of GoT’s literary history - or it won’t.  I’m going to guess and say before the end of the season we’ll have a positive confirmation that an infant Jon Snow is upstairs with his mother, Lyanna Stark: possibly also an infant Meera Reed, who is speculated by many to be Leia to Jon’s Luke Skywalker. Only Bran will be able reveal the truth.

Another Oathbreaker of sorts is Samwell Tarly, who is on a ship with Gilly and Lil Sam on their way to Olde Town, or so Gilly thinks. Sam knows there’s no women allowed at Maester University, and he won’t have Jon Snow or Maestor Aemon to bend the rules, so he breaks the news to Gilly that he’ll actually be taking her to his home, where his female relatives will look out for her. She seems ok with this, and tells Sam that she considers him to be Lil Sam’s father – which he is in every way but biological. This raises an interesting question: when Sam gets her home, is he going to try and pass Gilly off as his mistress and Lil Sam as his bastard!? Or will he just appeal to his mom and sister’s good nature and say that shit at The Wall is too dangerous for a mom and baby so please help? I’ve always loved Sam  as a character and have consistently been pleased with his portrayal onscreen, because he is one of maybe 4 characters in the whole of Westeros who only has benevolent intentions (Ned Stark lost his head so really he’s one of 3?). He started out a cowardly bookworm and he’s shaped up to be a stand-up guy with conviction and purpose, and I was happy to see him back on the show, even if he was puking for 85% of his screen time.

Dany is no stranger to oathbreaking, but in this case I don’t feel comfortable labeling her as such. She’s unceremoniously dropped off with the Dosh Khaleen and stripped of her clothes and given a strict run down of her immediate future – when Dany went off and conquered Slaver’s Bay, she was breaking an unspoken social contract to go immediately to Vaes Dothrak following Drogo’s death – so they won’t accept her outright. Her fate is in limbo, to be decided by the gathered Khals. Dany is still of the mind that she’s entitled to a more fulfilling life than that of a Dothraki soothsayer, and I agree, but her arrogance is grating and former Khaleesi Sovo didn’t put her in check enough, IMO. But why didn’t any of Drogo’s khalasar even mention Vaes Dothrak after he died? Were they all just too dumbstruck about her surviving the funeral pyre? I say fuck this place – hoping Jorah and Daario jailbreak her soon.

The middle of this episode was clearly subtitled “Comic Relief” because they tried hard to lighten the mood, and were mildly successful. We got to enjoy Olenna Tyrell quip like a boss when Cersei, Jaime and Franken-Mountain barge in on a small-council meeting, when she retorts after some confusion on Cersier’s part: “Margaery is the queen. You are not the queen because you are not married to the king. I do appreciate that these things can get a bit confusing in your family." SHOTS FIRED! The scene basically plays out like a cafeteria feud in a clique-y high school: Team Lannister comes to the table, and Team Tyrell gets up and walks away, unwilling to entertain any of their shenanigans. I don’t foresee Team Tyrell coming out on top though, because if their goal is to free Margaery and Loras, they need King Tommen to drop the hammer, and he’s so boringly teenage in his ability to be manipulated by stronger personalities that he can’t even go five minutes without being sweet talked by the High Sparrow about how Cersei hasn’t actually suffered enough, mmkay kid? The age-old adage is true: if you don’t stand for something, you can fall for anything.

There’s some footage of Varys coercing a Meereenese prostitute into giving him info on the Sons of the Harpy (who are being funded by many foreign powers interested in reinstating the Masters to their former glory), while Tyrion tries to make small talk and bond with Greyworm and Missandei. He fails miserably of course because T only knows sarcasm and drinking games and these guys haven’t ever had fun in their lives. It’s an interesting scene though because it makes it evident that Tyrion is suuuuuuuper privileged despite all of his hardships and is wildly out of touch with the majority of people who supported Dany, and just how devoid of fun this population really is. I genuinely feel bad for our group of known characters and the regular people of Meereen and the shitshow that Dany left behind for them all.

Back at Castle Black, Jon is met by the remaining Night’s Watch and the Wildings, who are predictably in awe of his resurrection. There’s a strong Jesus allusion - because Jesus is the world’s most famous zombie – but Jon reassures everyone that he’s still himself, and he’s def not a god. Then he hangs his murderers for mutiny, which I was glad about. Sir Alliser doesn’t blubber or apologize, which I respected. People are all up in arms about his hanging Ollie, but FUCK THAT – all of those jerks refused to look at the bigger picture and chose to break a vow and they murdered their Lord Commander because he cut a deal with the Wildings. Now – the Wildings aren’t innocent and no one said they were, but the damn FROZEN ARMY OF THE DEAD + WHITEWALKERS are just on the other side of The Wall, so freaking table your blood lust until after that catastrophe is addressed, no? So I don’t at all feel bad for Ollie, he was a punkass bitch who got what he deserved. End of rant. Jon ends his screen time by passing off his Commander cloak to Edd (isn’t this an elected position? Not that Edd couldn’t win the election, he’s the most qualified dude left I guess) and leaving Castle Black, because his Watch has ended. You know, because he died, so now he’s released from his oath. He’s like Dany here: he didn’t really break any oaths but “Oath-loop-holers” isn’t a good title.

Let’s not forget Arya’s awesome training montage – which is a not-so-subtle homage to Rocky and other ‘80s action flicks complete with the trainer observing approvingly in the background. She’s got her vision back thanks to her commitment to becoming No One – excited to see what the next phase of her training is now that her sight is restored. Kill mission soon???

Last but not least, the return of long lost Rickon Stark – home again under the worst possible circumstances. There’s a whole lot of speculation about where he’s been with Osha and Shaggydog for the past 3 seasons, but from what I understood they had fled to the very lands of the assclown that offered them up to Ramsey, Lord Umber. I don’t know if Lord Umber is making a truce in earnest by handing over a true heir of Winterfell, or if this is some kind of elaborate opportunistic/backstabbing plan (he wouldn’t swear fealty to Ramsey so I can only assume that means if favorability swaps to another side Umber won’t to be known as an “Oathbreaker” if he flip-flops allegiance), but it’s obvious that Rickon and Osha are up a creek and it’s not clear if they’ll be able to fashion a paddle. I hope for their sake they remain in whole pieces until Jon Snow can come and rescue them, which is what I assume will happen in one way or another now that Jon’s Watch has ended.

Next Episode: Sansa and company reach The Wall – did they cross paths with Jon? And Boo – more Iron Islands/Theon crap. Let’s hope for another nude Jon Snow scene!